Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
