he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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