Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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