The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize