Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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