Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
