I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
