just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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