Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
