i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
