Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You are the jesus of drinking
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
