dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
