Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
