a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize