I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
