I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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