i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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