even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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