Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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