Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
