I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i will never coherently bang her
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
