I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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