Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize
