I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I cockslap morals
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
