I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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