when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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