i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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