1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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