For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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