So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
