He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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