Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize