no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
