Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
