Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Girls should come with a carfax report
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
