12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize