So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
