Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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