that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
