New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
No subtext here. People are naked.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
