so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
