If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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