Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
