We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
