It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize