Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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