so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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