I just cut my nipple shaving
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
