Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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