She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
