i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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