You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
