theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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