so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
