So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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