Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
dude. I can hear the air.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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