I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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