i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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