We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
All the doctor said was why
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
