he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
try to milk me bitch
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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