Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
