She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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