We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
