dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize