I'm pants shitting drunk right now
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Everything about him screamed your future.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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