I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
