i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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