Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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