so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
