I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
