How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Is it because I queefed?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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