there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
