So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
